According to theater legend, Queen Elizabeth was so taken with the comic characters of Henry IV that she conveyed a message to her favorite company of actors: “I want to see Falstaff in love.” Obviously, this was more than a request from an avid fan; it was a royal command performance. Shakespeare complied, by taking Falstaff out of his venue of comic relief in a historical epic, and placing him front and center in a bawdy sex romp.

At least, that’s the story. But since our only source for the quote is John Dennis, who produced a revival of the play in 1702, one hundred years later, we are forced to conclude that he may have been indulging in promoter’s hyperbole. (His version flopped, by the way.) Bardologists are divided on the matter, and as with so many questions, we may never know the truth. Personally, I like to think of Merry Wives of Windsor as a prequel, setting up the origin story of Falstaff, Mistress Quickly and the rest of the motley band we know and love from the Henry plays.

The play’s origin is unknown, but it may have been adapted from the Italian book Il Pecorone by Ser Giovanni Fiorentino; it also helped inspire Merchant of Venice. The date is likewise in doubt, but must have been before the publication of a bootleg copy (one of the infamous “bad quartos”) in 1602.

References in the play to the Order of the Garter, a great honor bestowed at the monarch’s pleasure, suggest a performance date of April 23 1597, when Queen Elizabeth attended a feast for the installation of the Knights-Elect of that order. One of the recipients of this honor was the Lord Chamberlain George Carey, who is better known to history as the patron of the London theater company “the Lord Chamberlain’s Men”. Doesn’t ring a bell? That was Shakespeare’s group! With this powerful patron of the arts being invested as a Knight of the Garter, it is certainly tantalizing to believe that he would have commissioned a performance of his players to commemorate the occasion, and that Merry Wives of Windsor was the play. As with so much else about our Bard, this is only speculation. The earliest recorded performance of the play was November 4, 1604, at Whitehall Palace, by which time James sat on the throne.

The Order of the Garter also informs some of the humor of the final acts, as it relates to the Germans (who never actually show up). Apparently Frederick, the dukedom of Württemberg, had his heart set on being admitted to the Order, and shamelessly lobbied Queen Elizabeth for the Garter over the course of many years. It became an in-joke among the intelligensia; the social climber from the continent humiliating himself for public recognition. Several anti-German jokes in the play in the form of references to German travelers in England are no doubt a sly tribute to him. He finally did receive the award, more out of pity than anything else, but sadly not in time for him to attend the investiture in 1597.

Many of Shakespeare’s comic characters have names suggesting their mental states, such as Shallow and Simple. Likewise Pistol’s name is an on-the-nose diagnosis of his violent temper. According to convention, Bardolph’s face is constantly red, probably from drinking too much. That’s why Falstaff calls him “Scarlet.”

Vocabulary

Many Shakespearean characters are guilty of malapropisms (the incorrect use of a word in place of a word with a similar sound). One of the chief culprits is Mistress Quickly, although it seems to be contagious here, and others get into the act as well:

• dissolved = resolved
• dissolutely = resolutely
• detest    = protest
• confidence = conference
• out of his five sentences = senses
• allicholy = melancholy
• frampold = frantic?
• fartuous = virtuous
• infection = affection
• speciously = especially
• erection = direction   
• conceal = reveal

Latin Lesson

Anyone who ever had the benefit of a classical education (as I did) can at least nod with sympathy at young William Page forced to recite the rules of Latin grammar. Shakespeare ups the ante by inviting the uninformed commentary of Mrs. Quickly upon the lesson. While I don’t expect to teach Latin in one sitting, what follows is a brief explanation of the grammar and vocabulary alluded to:

• I thought there had been one number more, because they say ‘Od’s nouns.’ – She was thinking of the mild curse “God’s wounds” (which is the source of the later expression “Zounds!”) but since it contains the word “odd”, she can’t understand why there are only two, since two is an even number.
• pulcher – The word means beautiful, but she mistakes it for polecat, which is a kind of ferret.
• He teaches him to hick and to hack – Students had to memorize the demonstrative pronouns “hic/ haec/ hoc” (meaning “this masculine/ feminine/ neuter thing”) She thinks the child is learning to hiccup and to have a hacking cough, such as heavy drinkers might have.

Evans’ Welsh accent:

• Drops the W from words such as “world”
• Turns V into F in words such as “very”
• Turns the D into T in words such as “devil” and “God”. This is why Falstaff laughs when Evans says “wort” instead of “word” — “wort” is a kind of cabbage
• Turns the B into P in words such as “beat”

Other vocabulary:

The term “cousin-german” requires a category of its own. By itself, it represents an archaic expression for anything closely related, such as a first cousin. In the mouth of Evans, it takes on the pun with the equally archaic word “cozen”, meaning to cheat. And of course, these cozeners really are (or would be, if they weren’t a clever ruse) actually German!    

• Star Chamber matter – important enough for the King’s highest court
• writes himself ‘Armigero’ – signs his name with the honorific “esquire”
• latten bilbo – thin, unreliable sword
• word of denial in thy labras – I call you a liar to your face  
• she-Mercury – she is serving as a messenger, just as Mercury did for the Roman gods
• Anthropophagian – cannibal  
• wittol – the same as cuckold … and I hope I don’t have to explain what cuckold means!
• Castalion-King-Urinal – very complex insult from the Host, who does that kind of thing a lot. When speaking to the doctor, the reference to urine is related to the medical practice of examining the patients’ water (he shortly thereafter calls the doctor “Mockwater”). The word “stale” is another term for urine, which he suggests by mispronouncing the word “Castilian”. Finally, by calling the doctor Castilian, even though he’s French, he invokes the English stereotype that all Spaniards are cowards.
• And of course, “Honi soit qui mal y pense”: Anglo-Norman for “Shame on him who thinks evil of it”: the motto of the Order of the Garter.
  
  Summary

ACT 1
scene 1

Shallow has a quarrel with Falstaff. Page offers to mediate.

Evans suggests that Slender should marry Page’s daughter Anne.

scene 2

Evans sends Simple to Mistress Quickly with a request that she recommend Slender as a suitor for her friend Anne.

scene 3

Falstaff is short on funds, and deluded that both Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page are attracted to him, thinks he can make them his lovers as well as get them to support his lavish lifestyle. He sends them identical letters through Nym and Pistol, inviting them to be unfaithful to their husbands. However, Nym and Pistol, offended that Falstaff is treating them like pimps, decide to thwart him by telling the two husbands of the plan.

scene 4

Mistress Quickly agrees to recommend Slender to Anne, although she had already made the same promise to Fenton. Her employer Doctor Caius is outraged to learn this, because she had already promised him the same favor! The hot-headed Caius immediately writes to Evans to challenge him to a duel for interfering.

ACT 2
scene 1

Ford and Page are informed by Pistol and Nym of Falstaff’s plans. Page trusts his wife, but Ford is jealous, and decides to test his wife by disguising himself as another suitor.

Meanwhile their wives, outraged that Falstaff attempts to seduce them both with the same love letter, decide to get revenge on him by leading him on, then exposing him.

scene 2

Mrs. Quickly, acting on orders from Mrs. Page and Mrs. Ford, tells Falstaff that both of them have succumbed to his charms, and await the opportunity to be alone with him.

Ford, pretending to be a man named Brook, visits Falstaff. He flatters Falstaff, and asks him to seduce Mrs. Ford, on the pretext that once her infidelity is proved, she will not be able to use that as an excuse against his (Brook’s) advances. Falstaff, already confident that he will seduce Mrs. Ford, promises that “Brook … will enjoy Ford’s wife.”

scene 3
The Host of a local inn called The Garter is playing a cruel trick on Evans and Caius; he arranged for their duel, but had them wait in separate places, each thinking that the other had failed to show up. Host continues the gag with Caius, mocking him for his fractured English, and promises to set him up with Anne Page.

ACT 3
scene 1

Page and Shallow make peace between Caius and Evans. Realizing that Host has tricked them and continues to mock them for their accents, Caius and Evans join forces to plot revenge on the Host.

scene 2

Ford sees Falstaff’s servant Robin now following Mrs. Page on the way to visit Mrs. Ford, and concludes that it is part of Falstaff’s plan to seduce her. He invites Page and the others to go with him to catch Falstaff red-handed.

On the question of who will marry Anne, her father Page declares his preference for Slender, while admitting that Anne’s mother favors Dr. Caius. However, he dismisses the idea of Anne marrying Fenton, whom he fears only wants Anne for her dowry.

scene 3

Falstaff attempts to woo Mrs. Ford. On a pre-arranged signal, Mrs. Page enters with the news that Mr. Ford is arriving; Falstaff hides himself in a basket of laundry, which the servants were told to take outside and empty into the river. By coincidence, Ford really does arrive at that moment, but of course can’t find Falstaff. The wives are happy to have tricked both of the men, and decide to play the same trick on Falstaff and Ford again, to teach them both a lesson.

scene 4

Falstaff returns to the inn, soaked to the bone from being dumped in the river. Mrs. Quickly conveys Mrs. Ford’s invitation to meet her again, and he accepts. Ford, disguised as Brook, is aghast to learn that Falstaff had escaped under his very nose, but Falstaff informs him that he will make the attempt again, and this time surely Brook “shall have” Mrs. Ford.

ACT 4
scene 1
Mrs. Page takes time out from her prank on Falstaff to let Evans test her son William in his schoolboy Latin. Between Evans’ Welsh accent and Mrs. Quickly’s total lack of education, misunderstanding reigns supreme.

scene 2
The earlier scene repeats itself: in the midst of his seduction Falstaff learns that Ford is coming, and begs for a means of escape. This time, however, he refuses to go into the laundry basket, and instead hides his ample figure in the dress of the fat fortuneteller. Unfortunately for him, Ford despises the old woman, and beats Falstaff savagely in that disguise.

scene 3 (short scene)

The Host, learning that his German guests require horses, resolves to make them pay through the nose for them.

scene 4

The wives tell their husbands of their plan, and they share a good laugh. Together, they resolve to fool Falstaff one last time. They will arrange for him to meet Mrs. Ford in the woods at night, where the children, dressed as fairies, will scare him out of his wits.

Page secretly plans to use this attack as a diversion, so that Slender can elope with Anne without his wife’s knowledge. Meanwhile Mrs. Ford has exactly the same idea, except she wishes her daughter to marry Dr. Caius instead. 

scene 5

For revenge against his teasing, Caius and Evans conspire to convince the Host that his German guests have stolen his horses.

Mrs. Quickly persuades Falstaff to meet one last time with the two wives.

scene 6

Fenton confides in the Host: while the prank against Falstaff is underway, Anne means to disobey both her parents and elope with Fenton instead. Host agrees to help them.

ACT 5
scene 1
Falstaff attempts for the third time to seduce Mrs. Ford, this time meeting her in the park at night. Ford, dressed as Brooks, is disgusted to learn that for the second time Falstaff had escaped from his clutches, this time by dressing as a woman.

scene 2
While planning for the prank against Falstaff, Page arranges for Slender to slip away with Anne, who will be masked, but dressed in white, so they can get married without interference from Mrs. Page.

scene 3
Mrs. Page similarly conspires with Caius, telling him that Anne is dressed in green.

scene 4

Evans prepares to lead the children, all in disguise, against Falstaff.

scene 5
After the wives lead Falstaff into position, they summon the children, all dressed as fairies, who pinch him and burn him with candles. Finally, they relent, deciding that their punishment of Falstaff is complete.

Slender leads off a delicate figure dressed in white. Caius does the same with a person dressed in green.

Page and his wife both boast about using the occasion to send Anne off to get married, not knowing that both Slender and Caius, in the darkness, had eloped with teenage boys instead. Anne reveals that she is married to Fenton instead.

All is forgiven, and even Falstaff is invited to the celebration. Ford jokes to Falstaff that his boast came true: “Brook” will indeed lie with Mrs. Ford that night.